Insecurities
by Izzu
Summary: Set six years back, Yumeto struggles with himself as the guilt from his past refused to leave him.


az: This just happened. Haha. Can't imagine I'm writing Yume again.

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Insecurities

Written by honou-no-izzu aka Izzu

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_Killer! You murderer! You don't deserve to live happily!_

"Hah!"

Yumehito woke up with a start, sweat trickling all over his body like dews on the leaves and flowers in the morning. He gasped again. It was just a dream. Yet, it was also a nightmare. A nightmare that he had relived night by night, always depicting those similar memories. Always with that horrid curse ringing on his ears, jerking him away and enveloping him with fear. Two years, two years since that incident that had cost them the lives of their dear parents as well as any form of normalcy in the brothers' lives.

"Nii-chan?"

Yumehito turned towards his side as Ainosuke creep up towards him. He smiled weakly. "Ainosuke... did I wake you?"

The little one shook his head. "No. I had wanted to go to the toilet but I was afraid. I been keeping it quietly by myself... but then you started moaning. Did you have a nightmare?"

Yume chuckled softly as he pulled his younger brother close. "I'm fine, I'm not so scared now that you're here. Come on, I'll take you to the toilet."

Ainosuke followed him obediently as they managed to do it without much noise. Since the death of their parents and that kidnapping incident, the brothers' lives had never been the same. After being in the custody of the police and the childcare centre for a few days, they managed to contact one of their relatives who would agree to take them in. Even if that meant that they would have to move all the way to Hokkaido, at least both of them remained together. Their aunt and uncle had children of their own as well, but the savings from their deceased parents was still available to be used by them so they didn't need to worry about financial stuffs. The only setback was the fact that their aunt did not actually liked them very much; her husband being their father's younger brother, was the one who insisted to take them in. So that was why both of them tried their best to not do something that might caught the attention of their aunt towards them.

Luckily that night, that little trip to the toilet did not met with any mishaps.

"Onii-chan..."

Yume turned towards his brother.

"What is it?"

"I missed mum... and dad. Aunt Sumire was so scary... and Uncle, he's good but he's not dad..."

Ainosuke started to sob softly as Yume wrapped his arm around the small child.

"It's all right. I'm here."

Yume felt a slight pain inside his heart when he felt Ainosuke started to snuggle close to him. At this close proximity, it was not that hard to feel the slight trembling of that little child's body. Yet, he could not discern whose trembling had been stronger; who was it between them been more scared. Ainosuke, who misses their lost parents or him, who continued to be haunted by his own guilt for taking the life of one of their kidnappers two years ago-whatever the circumstances had been. That was no accident, that time he had been overcome by madness and killed that man. That _him_ that time, he wondered still until now which of it that scared him more; the image of the dead man cursing him all night in his sleep or that person he had turned into when he had killed for the first time.

Regardless right now, Yunehito was scared. At this rate, he could even lose his mind! Yet, the most important thing that he was worrying about, was Ainosuke.

Yume tightened his hold on Ainosuke as he tried to push away his dark thoughts from his mind. He have to be strong! For Ainosuke's sake, he must not lose against his own darkness. He have to keep strong!

"Nii-chan... promise you'd never leave me alone by myself."

Yumehito choked as he tried not to burst into tears hearing that from his brother. He nodded his head as he tucked his brother gently on the bed.

"I promise."

xxx

It would never cross Yumehito's mind many years later after this night, he would actually break this one important promise to Ainosuke. Then again, it would be a question as well, whether or not he remembered this promise at that time. Yet again, he could never have imagined that he would one day become one of the genius crime planner that would cause misery to many.


End file.
